from  http://www.dfas.mil/money/retired/survivorfaq.htm#r12

DIVORCE AND SPB:

8. My divorce decree requires that I keep SBP coverage for my ex-spouse. What do I have to do?

Answer:   It is important to understand that your spouse's coverage under the SBP stops at the date of divorce, since the status as spouse ends on that date. Termination of the divorced spouse's eligibility is automatic under the law, even if the agency is not advised of your divorce. You should provide DFAS with a copy of the divorce decree, and a written request to change coverage to former spouse coverage. You may make a former spouse SBP election whether or not there is a provision in your divorce decree requiring you to do so. Any former spouse SBP election must be made within 1 year of the date of the divorce, whether voluntary or in compliance with a court order.

The mailing address is:
Defense Finance and Accounting Service
U. S. Military Retirement Pay
PO Box 7130
London, KY 40742-7130
FAX: 1-800-469-6559

9. I am the former spouse of a military retiree and our divorce decree requires the retiree to provide former spouse SBP coverage for me. Do I need to do anything?

Answer:   Yes. Since there is a provision in a court order or an agreement approved by a court order, which requires the member to make a former spouse SBP election, then you or your attorney should submit what is known as a "deemed election" request. In effect, you are asking that an election of SBP coverage be made on your behalf to guarantee compliance with the court order or agreement. The "deemed election" must be made within 1 year from the date of the court order or agreement that requires the military retiree to provide former spouse SBP coverage for you.
Note:  It is not enough for there to be a provision in a court order awarding the former spouse SBP coverage. Either the member or the former spouse must make a request to DFAS within the appropriate 1-year time frame in order for the former spouse coverage to be implemented. In addition, a former spouse may not deem an election if the member did not elect SBP coverage when the member first became eligible to participate in the SBP program. An exception to this rule would apply if the divorce decree and court order requiring former spouse SBP coverage are issued before the member retires. In that case, the deemed election must be submitted to DFAS within 1 year of the relevant court order or agreement even though the member has not yet elected to participate in the SBP.

The mailing address is:
Defense Finance and Accounting Service
U. S. Military Retirement Pay
PO Box 7130
London, KY 40742-7130
FAX: 1-800-469-6559

10. Will my former spouse's SBP coverage be stopped, if I remarry, and want to provide coverage for my new spouse?

Answer:   It depends. If you voluntarily elected former spouse SBP coverage and there is no court order or agreement requiring former spouse coverage, then you may make a written election to change the coverage to your new spouse or dependent child anytime after you remarry or within one year of acquiring a dependent child. However, former spouse SBP coverage that is based upon a court order or written agreement cannot be stopped at your request alone. Court-ordered former spouse coverage may be changed to spouse coverage, only if you remarry, and you furnish DFAS a certified copy of a court order that modifies the provisions of all previous court orders and removes any requirement to provide former spouse SBP coverage. Former spouse coverage can also be changed if your former spouse dies.
If the former spouse SBP is based on a written agreement that has not been incorporated or ratified or approved by a court order, you must furnish DFAS a statement (in a format prescribed by DFAS), that is signed by you and your former spouse, which evidences your former spouse's agreement to an election change. In addition, you must certify either that the court order is valid and in effect or that the statement is current and in effect.

11. What happens to my former spouse's SBP coverage if my former spouse remarries before age 55?

Answer:   The SBP coverage is suspended and cost deductions from your retired pay are stopped if your former spouse becomes ineligible due to remarriage before age 55. The former spouse's SBP coverage is considered suspended for as long as your former spouse's subsequent marriage remains in effect. If the subsequent, marriage is terminated by death, annulment, or divorce, your former spouse's eligibility is reinstated and SBP cost deductions would resume.

12. My spouse and I were recently divorced. Will my SBP cost deductions stop?

Answer:   Yes. If you no longer have an eligible spouse beneficiary under SBP, upon receipt of a divorce decree, the costs will stop and your spouse coverage will be suspended.

The mailing address is:
Defense Finance and Accounting Service
U. S. Military Retirement Pay
PO Box 7130
London KY 40742-7130
FAX:1-800-469-6559

13. What options do I have if I remarry after my SBP spouse coverage has been suspended due to my divorce?

Answer:   See question number 8-10 regarding coverage for a former spouse. See question 3 regarding your options should you remarry.